If you stack the deck
by Mystrothedefender
Summary: Batman discovers Joker is pregnant. Tw: trans pregnancy, self harm, abortion.
1. Chapter 1

p class="MsoNormal"Batman tried the door to the old storage unit. It was locked but it wouldn't be hard for him to break it, it was ancient and already crumbling./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He gave it a hard hit with his elbow, and it fell to the floor./p  
p class="MsoNormal"The metal garage-like door squeaked and squealed as he pulled it open, it sounded as if it hadn't been opened in years, but he knew it had, he knew Joker was in there./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He stepped through into the large space, looking around through the junk and mess./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker was here, Bruce knew he was. The last time they'd seen each other he'd planted a tracker on him./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He walked further into the room, his fists clenched./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Then he saw him, in the corner of the room. His jaw dropped at the sight of him, he was unconscious, covered in blood both fresh and old, a large gash in his lower gut./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He rushed to Joker's side, checking his pulse. It was there but… faint./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Joker?" he said softly, his voice filled with concern. "…What happened to you?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"There was no blood anywhere else in the room, this had happened here./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He glanced down, searching for whatever might have caused the injuries./p  
p class="MsoNormal"There was a large shard of broken glass at Joker's feet. That must have been the weapon./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Who had done this? There was no sign of a struggle./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Had he done it to himself?/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman swallowed hard and scooped him up. "I'll get you home," he said quietly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Slowly he took the Joker towards the Batmobile, careful not to shift him or cause him any more pain./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He tipped the passenger seat back, laying Joker down, looking at the wound briefly under the light of the batmobile./p  
p class="MsoNormal"It didn't look good./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Alfred," he said, lifting his finger to his ear./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Do you have him sir?" Alfred asked./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman nodded, "Yes, he's injured, I'm bringing him to the batcave."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred let out a deep sigh, "Again, sir? I'll make preparations."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Thankyou," Batman said as he jumped into the batmobile. He started at full speed towards the cave, putting the car on autopilot and turning to inspect the wound a little closer, perhaps there was something he could do here./p  
p class="MsoNormal"It seemed to be infected. He wasn't sure how long Joker had been laying there. Maybe a day or two./p  
p class="MsoNormal"This could be fatal./p  
p class="MsoNormal"There was nothing he could do without proper medical equipment./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Shit," he growled to himself. He leant over to feel Joker's forehead, giving him a soft pat to see if he would stir./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He did, barely, taking a deep breath in./p  
p class="MsoNormal""What happened?" Batman asked quietly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker looked at him from behind fluttering eyelids. He opened his mouth to speak, the action obviously taking a lot of effort from him. "Is it gone..?" he croaked out./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Is what gone?" Batman asked, he shook his head, "Joker what did you do?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"He didn't seem to have the effort to say anything else./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman had no idea what he meant. What could he have been trying to get rid of?/p  
p class="MsoNormal"He shook his head, sitting back in his chair, swearing to himself again, wishing the car would go faster./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He outstretched his hand to hold Joker's, giving it a soft squeeze, meant to comfort him. Their eyes met and Batman's stomach twisted painfully./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He'd never seen him look scared before. Not just scared, terrified./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Who could have done this to him?/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker tried to squeeze Batman's hand./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Don't try to move, Joker," Batman instructed./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker blinked slowly and deliberately, tears in his eyes which slowly dripped down his face./p  
p class="MsoNormal""You're going to be ok," Batman said slowly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He'd never seen Joker like this. He couldn't help feeling panicked. This was uncharted territory./p  
p class="MsoNormal"They pulled into the cave, as soon as the cat came to a stop Batman jumped out, lifting Joker slowly. The man let out a soft groan of pain as Batman lifted him, the sound sending a sympathetic pain through Batman's gut./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Batman," Alfred said from the other side of the cave, making his way towards them./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Something's wrong," Batman said, his voice strained. He began to walk towards the medical centre./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred looked down at Joker as they met, walking alongside Bruce as they reached the medical bay. "Have you assessed the injury, sir?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman swallowed hard, laying Joker carefully on the table. "Someone's stabbed him with a shard of glass. Several times in the same spot by the looks of it. It's infected. I don't know what's happened."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""That's a messy wound…" Alfred said quietly as he began to inspect it, cutting away at the material around it, beginning to get to work. He looked down at Joker for a moment, his face dropping slightly at the look on his face. "We'll have you fixed up in no time, mister Joker. There's no need to worry."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred injected him with a painkiller, turning back to the stab wound, beginning to clean it up./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker squeaked and twitched at the feeling, letting out a groan which Bruce could only assume was meant to be a laugh. He wished there was something he could do to help./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He took Joker's hand again, "It's ok," he said again, "I promise Joker, whoever did this, I'll find them and they'll pay for this."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker's mouth curled into a grim smile./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Sir," Alfred said, frowning, "I believe these were self inflicted." He glanced up at Bruce, "Joker is right handed, correct?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Yes," Batman said dryly. He looked down at Joker again, frowning as Joker's smile grew wider. Why on earth would Joker do that to himself?/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Was this a suicide attempt?" he asked, his eyes turning back to Alfred./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred huffed, "It's a piss poor one if it was." He shook his head, "No… I don't think this was a suicide attempt. I…" he shook his head, "I don't know what this was. Who's to say what goes on inside that head of his."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman nodded uneasily, he bit his lip, his eyes flitting between Joker and the wound in his gut. He seemed to have calmed down a little, the painkiller must have kicked in, he seemed to be falling asleep./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred shook his head again, "Silly man…" he said quietly to himself. He sewed up Joker's wound, turning to get another syringe, injecting him with something else. "There we are. He'll probably wake up in a couple of hours, then I expect you'll give him a stern talking to."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman gave a small grunt in answer, lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I just can't understand why he'd do this."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""I'm sure he'll happily tell you all of the details," there was a slight growl to Alfred's voice. Batman knew they weren't on the best of terms, and with good reason. He hated how easy Bruce went on him and how he always took advantage of that./p  
p class="MsoNormal""…I'm sure there was a good reason," Batman said quietly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred sighed, "You're too soft on him, master Bruce. He doesn't deserve the kindness you show him."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman felt his teeth grit, "I don't want to hear it, Alfred. If you're done here, and you don't want to be here, then you can leave."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred shook his head, "No, sir, as much as I may not like the man I won't take risks with his health."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Thankyou," Batman said, letting out a deflated sigh, "I'm sorry," he said quietly, "…I've never seen him like this, he'd never heart himself like this. Something must be wrong."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""I can tell that much," Alfred said quietly. He shook his head again, seeming a little sadder this time. "I'm going to make some tea while we wait."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman nodded, watching him walk away. He moved back to Joker's side, lowering a hand to brush Joker's hair out of his face, letting out a soft sigh. Joker's face was covered in sweat, blood, and general muck. He hadn't been taking care of himself, Batman already knew that from the last time they'd talked, it was one of the reasons he'd decided to put a tracker on him./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Why would you do this to yourself?" he said quietly. He sat on the seat next to the table, watching Joker's chest rise and fall./p  
p class="MsoNormal"After a moment Alfred returned, taking the seat next to Bruce and handing him a cup of tea./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Where did you find him?" Alfred asked, taking a sip of his own tea./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman took a mouthful of his drink, straightening up in his chair, "He was in an old storage unit."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred cocked his head slightly, "The seems rather humble for him."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"That wasn't strictly true, although Joker did usually hide out in nicer places than that he had a habit of picking places he thought Batman wouldn't search, no matter how awful they were./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman sighed, "This whole night has been very confusing."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""I can only imagine," Alfred said with a huff. "Hopefully he'll wake up soon and you can get your answers."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Slowly they finished their tea, and Alfred began to clean and sort away the medical equipment. Batman didn't want to leave Joker's side, checking him over every 15 minutes or so, he needed to find out what had happened to him, what had driven him to stab himself./p  
p class="MsoNormal"After a while, Bruce wasn't sure how long it was, Joker's eyes began to open, a long groan leaving him./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He tried to lift his head, seeming upset and panicked./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Joker," Batman said softly, reaching out a hand to stop him trying to get up. "Stay still, you're hurt."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker's eyes fixed on him, soft pants leaving him, terror back in his eyes. "Is it gone?" he said, desperation in his voice./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Is what gone?" Batman asked, "What are you talking about? Why did you stab yourself, Joker?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker stilled, lifting a shaking hand to his face, he held his hand over his face, digging his nails into his skin. He let out a weak whine, "No… No, I want it em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"gone/em," he slammed his fist back on the table./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman stared at him, confused, "What are you talking about. Joker, calm down, please."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker let out a deep breath. Bruce wasn't sure what was wrong with him, he'd never seen him like this./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker shifted slightly, looking over at Batman. "I don't want to tell you," he said quietly./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Why not?" Batman said, demandingly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker closed his eyes. "Fuck. I… I'm em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"pregnant/em, Batman," he spat./p  
p class="MsoNormal""You're…" Batman felt himself still, "Pregnant…" He shook his head, speaking in a monotone, "That's not possible."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker grit his teeth, "I wouldn't fucking lie about it," he growled. "Get it out of me," he ordered./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman inhaled slowly, "How… did em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"you,/em a man, get pregnant?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker closed his eyes again, a weak and strained chuckle leaving him, "Y-you moron, Batman. You em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"know/em that I'm trans."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman nodded stiffly, "Yes, but you're… you can't get pregnant on hormones. You told me you can't."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker shook his head again, "I guess I forgot to take them for a few months or something. I have a hectic life, Batman, shit happens."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Shit happens?" Batman repeated, slight anger in his voice. "Why didn't you take precautions?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker scoffed, rolling his eyes, "I don't have to explain myself," he growled. "Just get this em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"thing/em out of me. Get it em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"out/em."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman nodded, his eyes closing for a moment. "I'll do what I can. You rest," he said softly. He got to his feet and walked over to Alfred./p  
p class="MsoNormal""He's awake," Alfred smiled, "Did you get your answers?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""He's pregnant," he stated./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred turned to him, his mouth hanging open, "What?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""He needs an abortion," Batman said quietly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred forced his mouth closed, giving a small nod. "Do you know, uh…" he shifted on his feet, "Is it yours?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman shook his head, "It doesn't matter," he said sternly. "He needs an abortion," he stated again. "Can you do it."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred's face went blank, turning pale. "I-I…" he shook his head, "It'll depend on how far along he is."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""If he's too far along for you to do it?" Batman asked./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred shook his head, "Then he'll have to go to Arkham I suppose. Or carry the baby to term."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman closed his eyes, a grim expression on his face, "He won't do that. He'd kill himself before that."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred swallowed hard, "Maybe if it were yours he'd be a little more willing to try."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""He was willing to kill himself to get rid of it. I don't think it matters who the other father is."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred sighed softly, giving a small nod. "Ok, sir. After he's had some rest I'll talk to him about his options, run some tests, see what we can do."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"Thankyou, Alfred." He glanced back towards Joker, "I'm going to stay down here with him tonight. I don't want him trying to hurt himself again."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred nodded, "Very good sir. I'll finish clearing up and then leave you to it."/p 


	2. Chapter 2

p class="MsoNormal"It was a hard night. Alfred had been coming and going, running tests, changing Joker's bandages. Batman barely slept, he didn't move from his seat next to Joker's bed. Listening to his shallow breathing as the situation played on his mind./p  
p class="MsoNormal"The Joker was pregnant./p  
p class="MsoNormal"The mere idea was ludicrous./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He couldn't imagine the pain and anguish it must be causing him./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Enough to bring him here, make him do this to himself./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Most of the night he spent staring at Joker, holding his hand, their fingers entwined. It felt comforting, although he knew Joker didn't know and couldn't feel it, it helped him./p  
p class="MsoNormal"The next few days were going to be tough for them both. There was no way Joker could leave until he'd been given the all clear by Alfred, but then where would he go? With a wound like that he couldn't go back to living on the streets, he wouldn't be able to defend himself properly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Arkham would most likely be the best choice for his aftercare, as non-ideal as that would be./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He jolted slightly as Joker stirred, his eyes opening slowly./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Oh, shit," Joker growled. "I'm still here?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman nodded, "It's been about 5 hours." He'd been keeping track of every minute./p  
p class="MsoNormal""I slept for 5 hours?" Joker scoffed, "Felt like a year…" He smiled weakly, a deluded kind of hope on his face, "Am I being discharged today, doctor Bats?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman shook his head, "I doubt it," he glanced down at Joker's stomach, swallowing hard as he prepared his line of questioning./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Are you on testosterone?" he began./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker nodded, "I am now, the past… 3 weeks? Probably due for another shot now."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""When did you find out you were pregnant?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker shrugged, reluctant to answer, "I don't know, a week ago?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""How far along are you?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker shrugged, "I don't know." He glanced down at himself, "I'm not showing much."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"There was such a serious and depressed tone to his voice. Batman had never heard him sound like this, it was like he wasn't himself./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Never expected this did we, Bats?" he said through gentle laughter./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman shook his head, "No," he said, drained./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He felt a lump in his chest, "This feels wrong," he said softly, "This shouldn't have happened to you."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker shook his head, his body shaking slightly, "No it shouldn't have, but it did. No thanks to you, Batman."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"His stomach twisted as Joker began to laugh, a smile spreading across his face./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He felt a weight fall on him, he closed his eyes for a moment. "It is mine..?" he said quietly. He grit his teeth. He hadn't wanted to know that. It didn't matter who's it was./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker shrugged, "Pretty sure. I thought you should know." He smiled weakly, "You can't talk me out of it," he said sternly./p  
p class="MsoNormal""I won't try to," Batman reassured him./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker's brow furrowed, "…I feel like Alfred might try to. You know, the older generation."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman shook his head, "He won't."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""He'll go on about carrying on your lineage… even if it's with me."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""You don't want it, Joker. That's all that matters." He frowned, "It sounds like you're trying to talk em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"yourself/em out of it."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker shook his head, "I'm not I…" he smiled softly, his eyes meeting Batman's. "I didn't expect you to be so nice about it." His smile widened, "I had retorts planned," he complained./p  
p class="MsoNormal""I'm not being nice about anything," Batman said with a shake of his head, "I'm doing the decent thing."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker smiled again, "Thanks. You're full of surprises."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman let out a soft huff, "Don't thank me, Joker. I did this to you, it's…"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker let out a weak chuckle, putting on a mocking voice, "I did this to you and it's my duty to help you, then I'll brood about it later."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""I'm not going to brood about it."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""You brood about everything."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman growled softly, he glanced away as he got to his feet, "I'll call Alfred down, he wants to talk to you about what we're going to do."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Suddenly we're a 'we'," Joker huffed indignantly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman walked over to the intercom, glancing back at Joker as he pressed the button to call Alfred./p  
p class="MsoNormal"The intermittent buzzing noise rang through the cave, Joker started tapping his foot to the beat of it./p  
p class="MsoNormal"After a moment the noise stopped. "Sir?" Alfred said, his voice echoing from the speaker./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Joker's awake," Bruce stated bluntly./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Ah," Alfred said, "I'll be down in a moment."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman nodded, although Alfred couldn't see it, and he took his finger off the button. He looked over at Joker again, "He-"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""He'll be down in a moment, yes, I heard."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"He walked back over to Joker's side, looking down at him, his eyes rested on the bandage on his gut, trying to remember how long it'd been since it was change./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Pretty, isn't it," Joker smirked, "Your butler does good work."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""You didn't have to do that to yourself," Batman said softly, "You should have come to me, or gone to Arkham, or…"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker shrugged, "I panicked. We all do dumb things when we panic."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""You stabbed yourself several times in the gut."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker shrugged again, more deliberately and dramatically. "What would you have done?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman shook his head, "This would never happen to me."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker frowned, "Are you trying to make me feel stupid?" He scoffed, "I take back what I said about you being em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"nice/em."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman grit his teeth, "Joker. That's not what I meant." He let out a weak sigh, "I'm trying to help you, I want to help, Joker. I just want to understand why you would do this."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker smiled, letting out a weak chuckle, "Oh, Batsy," he shook his head, "You could never understand. Unless you're secretly trans but seeing as how I'm carrying the fruit of your loins I highly doubt that."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Don't say that," Batman said through his gritted teeth, a soft growl to his voice. He exhaled slowly, "But you're right, I'm sorry." He shook his head weakly, "I just want to help, Joker."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker rolled his eyes, "em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Please/em stop saying that, it's creeping me out."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman stilled, swallowing and glancing away. Joker was right, he had no idea what was going on inside his mind, saying he wanted to help and apologising was probably the last thing Joker wanted to hear. It would make him feel like he was doing something that he should feel sorry about./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He turned his head as he heard the cave door, letting out a soft breath as Alfred came down the stairs./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Mister Joker," he said happily, walking across the cave towards the medical centre, "I trust you're feeling better this morning?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker smiled and nodded, raising himself only his elbows, "I'm sure I could dance out of here if I wanted."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred gave a nod. "Well, I do hope that you'll stay so I can treat you."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker hummed for a moment, "I think that sounds like a good idea. What treatment did you have in mind?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred straightened up, his manor turning a little more serious. "I ran a couple of tests on you overnight, so I know what I'm dealing with now." He let out a soft breath, "Luckily for you, considering you're still in the first trimester, there are ways to treat your condition without surgery," he glanced down at Joker's bandaged gut, "Without literally cutting it out of you…"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker smiled weakly, seeming relieved, his head bowing slightly, "Ok. What do I have to do?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""All you have to do is take a few pills, and relax," Alfred said softly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman couldn't help letting a smile ghost his face as he watched the interaction, as much as Alfred didn't like Joker his bedside manor was amazing, the way he spoke and acted was so calming and soothing, despite the grim subject./p  
p class="MsoNormal""That's all?" Joker scoffed, "I can do that in my sleep."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred shrugged, "I'd prefer you were conscious." His face fell slightly, "You will suffer quite a bit discomfort." He walked over to the counter, picking up a bottle, then turning to show one of the pills to Joker./p  
p class="MsoNormal""This is the first pill." He seemed to be becoming a little more uncomfortable as he spoke, "This one… ends the pregnancy. Then you'll take another in 24 hours' time, and that gets rid of it, that's when the discomfort will start… And although I can't say anything about the experience myself, I should imagine it'll be a nightmare of dysphoria for you."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker nodded along, though Batman wasn't sure if he were really absorbing what Alfred was saying./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Now, Joker, I must ask you… Are you sure this is what you want?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker gave a hard nod, he glanced over at Batman, then back at Alfred, "I'm sure." He reached out to take the pill, closing his eyes as he swallowed it./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He let out a deep breath, a wide smile spreading across his face. He opened his eyes and looked over at Batman, "That's a weight off my mind."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""I should imagine so," Batman said, smiling weakly,/p  
p class="MsoNormal""The worst is yet to come," Alfred frowned, "As I said, after tomorrow you'll pass the pregnancy. There'll be cramping and bleeding, mood-swings, general unpleasantness,"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"The smile on Joker's face dropped slightly, "I'm sure I'll manage…"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""You'll be here through it," Batman said stiffly, "I won't let you go through that out on the streets."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker let out a chuckle, "How kind."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred swallowed hard, "Batman, how would you propose we deal with that? You can't make him stay down here."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"There was far too much sensitive information down here, and it wasn't exactly comfortable, it was always slightly cold. Alfred was right./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Bruce shook his head, taking a second to think it over. For a moment he considered giving him free reign of the house, or perhaps taking him to a hotel. Neither were suitable./p  
p class="MsoNormal""No… I'll take him to one of the guest bedrooms I suppose, lock him in."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""You know I am right here?" Joker said stubbornly, "Don't I get a say?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""No, you don't," Batman replied stubbornly. "This is my house, you're under my care."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker blew a raspberry, "Alright, I guess." He smiled, raising an eyebrow, "It's going to be nice having you take care of me."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""I suggest that you take him to bed, he'll need all the strength he can get. And a change of bandages." He glanced down at Joker, "And a shower." He smirked, "In the opposite order."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman nodded, "I'm sure we can do that." He looked down at Joker, "…Can you stand?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""I can try," Joker smiled. He held out his hand to take Batman's./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman pulled him to his feet, holding him steady, he looked him up and down. He was visibly shaking, the smile on his face wide despite it./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Alfred clicked his tongue, shaking his head as he handed Batman a pack of bandages. "Given your injuries I wouldn't suggest you walk. Standing in the shower should be fine as long as you move slowly," Alfred advised, his eyes turning to Joker as he talked./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Batman gave him a nod, he scooped Joker into his arms, looking him over again. He really did need a shower; his white skin made the muck on him even more visible, even in the soft light of the cave./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Joker looped an arm around Batman's neck. "So, you're saying that Batman won't be helping me shower? No sponge bath?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Maybe next time," Batman smirked. After a moment the smirk faded back as he remembered who exactly he was talking to, and why exactly he was here./p 


End file.
